CHARACTERISTICS of the FIRST, SECOND, THIRD CHILD
by DR. ALFRED ADLER
THE first child is usually born into a world which is looking forward with expectancy and joy to his coming. His family has made every preparation to receive him. He is for his father and mother an only, a unique experience. If he remains for some years the only child he is apt to be pampered and spoiled, to occupy the center of the stage. Knowing that he is the sole object of his parents' concern, he feels his power and influence. And as the time passes this feeling is increased.
After a few years another child comes along and the situation of the older is not so pleasant. He is no longer the center of the scene. The new baby occupies the family's immediate attention. Conversation at the table is taken up with his health, his growth, his looks and actions. The household schedule revolves about him. The older child feels dethroned. But he has built up during this time a type which regards the center of the stage as its goal. He is always striving in a thousand ways to recapture his old situation of power and importance with his family. Feeling the obstacle in his way he wants to overcome it by fighting. But the obstacle is difficult to overcome.
DURING all this time the younger child has been coming along very happily. He suffers from no hindrances, is not thwarted in his desires and ambitions, and is therefore more charming and likable than his older brother or sister who has very likely developed unattractive qualities in the process of his displacement. Among other qualities the older child has developed sensitiveness and thus feels the preference his elders have for the younger child. He also believes that his power is being curtailed and even thwarted. Unless he can overcome in the struggle for supremacy in his universe he is apt to become depressed, peevish, more or less hopeless, and will show his hopelessness later in life if confronted by problems. He is very likely to be conservative, to understand power and to agree with it. If he is strong enough he becomes a fighting child.
As for the second child he is never alone, but is always confronted by the older child. This constant picture before him of an older and bigger child begets in him a sense of rivalry. He has a pacemaker in his older brother. Thereafter in all his play and in all his work his attitude is that of one in a race. He is forever animated by a desire to win. But he does not value or recognize power. He fights against established power and is likely to be revolutionary. If successful he is an excellent type, but if defeated, for instance, if he is not able to compete successfully with the older child in work and in play, he loses hope, becomes depressed and has a bad time of it.
IF the older child is a boy and the younger a girl, the boy is in a difficult situation because nature supports the girl mentally and bodily until her seventeenth year. She develops more quickly and has more strength, thus placing the boy at a disadvantage. A boy under such circumstances is a special problem, and if not capable and successful is very unhappy.
When the third or youngest child comes along he is in a different situation from the first child and the middle child. But his condition is somewhat similar to the second child in that he also has a sense of rivalry with his older brothers or sisters. He has to fight for a place in the sun so far as they are concerned, but he has no successor. This gives him a great sense of power and if he is capable he often overcomes the older children in the family by his sense of importance. If he is not capable he perhaps hides behind the fact of being spoiled, and becomes lazy, escaping from tasks, wasting time and making excuses.
These are the three most important types of children. One finds illustrations of them throughout literature. In the fairy tales where the youngest child figures it is always he who carries off the prize. In the Bible, Esau and Jacob are excellent examples of the oldest and second child. Esau was older than Jacob, and the latter was jealous of him. Jacob was always striving to overcome, he wanted to change things, to overcome Esau. Joseph in the Bible was an excellent example of the youngest child. Although Benjamin was younger than he, there was seventeen years' difference between the two, and Joseph had acquired during that time the viewpoint of the youngest child, supposing as he did that he had no younger brother. Even in a strange land, and captive as he was, he overcame all obstacles, was recognized as a great man and saved thousands of lives through his sagacity.
In order that parents may cope with the problems which arise in relation to the oldest, middle and youngest child, many individual conditions have to be taken into account. Children should have the situation explained and then be helped to socialize themselves.
For instance, Tommy acquires at the age of four a baby brother.
Feeling that his nose is suddenly out of joint, Tommy develops a belligerent attitude. If punished he sulks. If criticized by his parents because of his behavior, he feels that he has been treated unjustly and continues in his fighting attitude. By such poor methods as these, parents unconsciously encourage their children in unfortunate habits. If, on the other hand, Tommy's mother or father explains what the coming of the little brother means to him, the situation will be changed. If he sees that he is to have a new friend, that he has from everyone as much love as he had before, the belligerent, fighting element is replaced by a happy, co-operative attitude.
This may seem a slow process when applied to the problems which constantly arise, but children soon learn to adjust themselves to the more rational and comfortable conditions of living which are brought about by an education of their social sense.
Fuente: Alfred Adler, «Characteristics of the First, Second, Third Child», Children. The Magazine for Parents (Nueva York; después Parents' Magazine) 3 (1928), n.º 5 (mayo), págs. 14 y 52. Transcripción a partir del número digitalizado en archive.org (sim_parents_1928-05_3_5), con el OCR de la plataforma corregido sobre la imagen de las páginas. Se omiten la entradilla de la redacción y el pie del retrato. Existe una versión alemana, «Kindertypen. Von Dr. Alfred Adler», en el Duisburger General-Anzeiger del 24 de agosto de 1928, pág. 16 (Deutsche Digitale Bibliothek; materiales del archivo, con OCR de Fraktur deficiente), que no se transcribe aquí. Los comentarios p. n del código marcan el comienzo de cada página impresa.