Why Marriage Fails
Dr. Adler Is First to Give Opinion in New Series.
By WILLIAM G. GENN.
This article is the first of a series by eminent men and women who give their views of marriage. These interviews will appear every Thursday on the food pages of the Bufalo Evening News.
"PEOPLE do not understand love and marriage. From the questions they ask, it is easy to see that their views on the subject are entirely wrong," said Dr. Alfred Adler, the famous Viennese psychologist. He is a stocky, heavily built man, and he speaks slowly and deliberately, with just a slight trace of an accent.
"The great difficulty is," he continued, "that men and women are trained for personal competition in everything—in business, in sports and in school. But there is no place for competition in love and marriage. The rules of love and marriage are against competition. Husband and wife must both give, and they must realize that they do not lose anything in giving.
"Young people also have mistaken ideas about marriage which they have derived from many sources. First the marriage of their parents which is not very alluring, not very encouraging. So the young people are apprehensive for their own marriage, because of the experiences of their parents.
"They have mistaken ideas which they glean from literature, where love and marriage are described as dangerous. And then, too, woman is always regarded as a percon who is not easily understood. Frequently you have heard men say, 'who can understand the mind of a woman?' Isn't that so?" smiled the psychologist.
"As women gain in culture, in strength and in their rights, the man holds a less favorable attitude for marriage. He wants his privileges as he has always had them and so he is quickly disappointed when he marries. He becomes suspicious of his superiority and his advantages. Quarrels begin—a war for mastery follows. Husband and wife behave like warriors. A great tension exists and each becomes suspicious of the other, so that they are always upset."
Dr. Adler paused and then continued a little more vermently. "Marriage is a task and not an accomplishment. It is a continuous, lasting task. People expect everything and they do not give. You will find in the majority of cases, that the bad companion in marriage was a pampered and spoiled child. The parents pamper the childdren so much that they expect to get everything without difficulties. They do not want to struggle. And so the children grow up, facing all problems in life with the attitude of 'What can I expect?'
"Many people who contemplate divorce, bring their problem to a trained psychologist to find out what the difficulty is. And very frequently you can bring the husband and wife together again by making them realize that marriage is a task for two—and not a case for personal competition. Each must give."
NEXT THURSDAY Fannie Hurst gives her opinions on marriage.
Fuente: William G. Genn, «Why Marriage Fails. Dr. Adler Is First to Give Opinion in New Series», Buffalo Evening News, jueves 6 de junio de 1929, p. 32 (cifra de página poco nítida en la imagen). Transcripción hecha sobre la imagen de la página en Old Fulton NY Post Cards (fultonhistory.com, «Buffalo NY Evening News 1929 26221»), corrigiendo el OCR de la plataforma, que no recogía el titular. Hay otra copia digitalizada de la misma página («… 26169»), no cotejada. Se respetan las erratas del impreso («Bufalo», «percon», «vermently», «childdren»). La serie se distribuyó por agencia: la primera aparición localizada es la del Oakland Tribune del 23 de julio de 1928 (no cotejada).